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Joe Carrera

What we strive to be in everyday life should be better people. Our goals should involve being more loving, more caring and focusing more on the positive aspects of life as 2015 is nearing a wrap. So I thought it would be best if I wrote about the way men should present themselves and hold themselves coming into 2016. As growing up does not necessarily lead to a boy becoming a true gentleman.

Being a gentleman does not evolve from the outside but rather from our own innate beliefs and values. These values and beliefs are not necessarily taught through schools or from parent and are required to be self learned.

I for one, am far from perfect however I continually look for ways that I can improve and I feel like it would be fitting sharing this with others in hopes that 2016 heads in the right direction of progression.

As we look at society as a whole we tend to find many issues with the way men conduct themselves, that is not to say, that women are perfect. No, far far from it. With the younger generations involving themselves in equally reckless behaviors including unsafe sex, binge drinking, drug abuse and other risk taking behavior on both sides. I want to look at 12 ways that we can start off on the right path and progress from boys to gentlemen.

1. Respect
As gentlemen, it is expected that we respect ourselves and others around us. In saying that, we must dress appropriately and in a manner that shows we respect ourselves and respecting those who we come into contact with.
We must respect everyone, including females and other men. Regardless of whether these individuals respect themselves, a true gentleman does not lower his standards to others. He does not cuss, he respects everyone and he does not degrade another male for the pleasure of himself. He respects and listens to the opinions of others including those who do  not agree with him.

2. Manners
Goes hand in hand with respect. Knowing whats acceptable in certain situations is down to education, for most manners are unspoken. A true gentleman says please and thank you, looks someone in the eye when they are speaking or are spoken to by someone else. He holds himself in good posture and again,  avoids swearing. This also includes taking other peoples feelings and emotions into consideration when making decisions, in your actions and in the way you conduct yourself.

3. Integrity
Stay true to your word. If you make a promise keep it. There is nothing worse in this world than a man who says he will do something and doesn’t do it. This also includes being loyal. Remain loyal to your friends and your woman.

4. Chivalry
Chivalry separates the gentlemen from the boys. A true gentleman holds the door for his woman, he pays attention to the little details of his woman and he makes her feel like a queen.

5.  Well Presented
I did mention this in respect but its that important that I had to highlight it again. No woman wants a male who looks like he just crawled out of bed to take her out. Focus on the details. Be well groomed and dress appropriately for the occasion. Being well presentable shows that you take pride in your appearance and that’s a must for the true gentleman.

6. Be On Time
Being on time shows that you respect the other persons time and that you’re not selfish. If you are running late its important that you let the other person know that you’re running late and when you arrive apologize for any inconvenience that you may of imposed on the other person.

7. Show Interest in the Other Person
No one likes to listen to someone talk about themselves for hours on end. Show that you’re interested in the other persons life regardless of whether or not that you are. Its polite. Ask them questions about their family, career and any interests that they may have. You never know you might find that you have a lot in common.

8. Be Confident But Remain Humble
No one likes someone who is full of themselves. Believe in yourself and what you want to achieve but never let it get to your ego. Egos are left at home where no one can really see them. Being confident involves speaking clearly, projecting positive body language but not having to be loud. Confidence is shown through your body language and not through your voice. Once you start talking about yourself, it becomes more arrogance than confidence. Turn the volume down.

9.  Remain Composed
Composure is key. Being able to keep control of yourself and being able to keep calm is one of the hardest things to master when you’re being put in a situation where you are confronted with a difficult situation (emotional intelligence). However, this includes getting drunk. You don’t need to be completely blind and off your face to have a good time. Drinking responsibly and staying away from drugs is a good idea. This allows you to make sure that you’re being respectful, well mannered and presentable.

10. Raised Values and Standards
Knowing what you want in life shapes your life. If you settle for mediocre behavior from your friends, women and yourself you will ultimately never have anything great. Act appropriately, increase your vocabulary, don’t try and hit on every girl that you see, respect them. Don’t sleep with just any girl, numbers are for your ego not for you. Outline who it is that you wish to be, what sort of values and standards you want to have. True gentlemen have high standards.

11. Remains a Life Long Learner
A gentleman does not cease learning once his education is finished. He seeks knowledge for the duration of his life through books and experience. He looks to progress himself in all aspects of life and does not believe that there is such thing as too much education. Check out my MBA reading list here.

12. Has a Positive Outlook on Life
Our energy shapes our thoughts and our actions. Being positive allows us to keep happiness and laughter in our conversations. No one likes seeing someone with a frown and a poor attitude. Follow me on Instagram here.

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